Thoughtful Conversation

LESSONS FROM MY 3RD DECADE

I used to play chess with my uncle. He would comment on my game. I noticed that my approach to chess was mirroring my approach to life. Even when I could, I would never go straight for the king. I would never go straight after what I wanted in life. Needless to say, I have now remedied this on both counts.

Photography and Words, Rachel Byrne

 

I’m enjoying my thirties. Here is some of what I’ve learned so far.

Great posture is powerful.

Don’t rush.

Save your best behaviour for your family.

Listen more than you talk.

Don’t apologise unless you’ve actually done something wrong.

Be a reliable and caring parent to yourself.

Be elegant in all communication. Learn and do better tomorrow if you didn’t manage today.

Understand your attachment style. If it’s anything other than healthy, do whatever you have to do to make it healthy.

Be brutally honest with yourself about everything you’re doing wrong.

Respect yourself.

Be empathetic and kind towards yourself.

Embrace your quietness.

Embrace your strangeness.

Make sure the five-year-old you still recognises themselves in you.

Learn and explore your emotional triggers – they are distorting your perception of reality.

Make life difficult for yourself; never order fast food on an app and always take the stairs.

Be empathetic to men – give them space to explore emotional vulnerability.

Be empathetic to women – challenge and ignore gender-based limitations if you are female. Help and encourage women in this quest if you are male.

Always communicate what you need; people can’t read minds.

Be discerning when choosing to use technology.

Becoming a master of anything takes time. Persevere.

Remove yourself from environments that don’t serve you well.

Let go of poor-quality friendships and relationships.

Wear earplugs when using the subway. (Adapt your environments to suit you.)

Doubting yourself wastes time.

Say ‘thank you’ to Deus every evening when you’re lying in bed. Just a simple thank you, that’s it.

 

 

Warmest,

Rachel

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ABOUT PARLANCE

Exploring the art of conversation. A slow journal centred around life, curiosity and purpose.

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